so... i lied.

When I said that I woudln't write anymore blogs as a senior in high school.

This one is the last one for sure.

I cleaned out my locker.

I turned in my portfolio (which I'm rather proud of).

I changed my facebook status. (that makes everything final, right?)

It's hard to think that it's finally and completely over. :(

Where do we go?

Senior year is quickly coming to a close.
I can't help but freak a little.
My life is actually going to start soon.
Before, I thought this was my life.
Ha. High school? Not. Don't get me wrong.
I've made a lot of great friends.
I've gotten to be involved in some really cool stuff:
Drama club. (Everyone in this club makes my heart happy.)
Band. (I know I hated it, but I love all the Lil bandies.)
Fuel. (I screw up and they still love me.)
Theatre I Class. (If it weren't for this class, I wouldn't have met the great people I did.)
Lunch. (Ha. That whole group of people that sit on that one little bench. :D)
T.E.C. (I know that I probably didn't take everything from it that I could... But I'm glad I was involved.)


I also made some really great friends in high school.

Although I don't still have all of them, they were good to me when I did:

Kristina: My best friend. We get frustrated with each other, but that doesn't change how much we love each other. I'm not trying to be a Matthew(creep) but without her, I probably would be a horrible person right now. You have to know how happy I am that we can just be ourselves with each other. I love crying in your car. If I think of one place I would like to cry... It's with you... in your car. definitely. :D

Marissa: I love my Auntie Rissa. She has so much patience with me. I know I disappoint her a lot, but she still stands by me. For that, I love her sooooo sooooooooo much. Whenever we hang out, even though it's not nearly enough, I smile, unless of course, I'm crying. :D

Anneeta: I am so glad that I met you. You make me smile. I have so much gratitude to Jon for connecting us. And Chad. I don't think we would have been as close if I hadn't been Chad's good luck charm. :D

Jarad: Jarad and I were best friends for most of my Junior year, and the summer between sophomore and Junior year. We were inseparable to the point of people asking where the other person was when we weren't together. When we weren't friends, it was sad, but now we're reconnecting. I hope it's for the best, but even if it's not, I'm happy.

Okay, so I'm probably going to get yelled at for this, but the others:

Jon: Okay, I know that usually, I'm upset about him, and there are still some hard feelings, but honestly, if it weren't for Jon, my Sr. year wouldn't have been nearly as fun. Especially the parts where Kris and I kind of disconnected. I still love him so much, but all I want is for him to be happy. He hadn't been happy for a really long time, and if he's happier without me, then, I can try to be okay with that. Not that it won't hurt, but I'll deal.

Alycia: Ali helped me so much throughout my sophomore year. We really were best friends. She and I went everywhere together. I basically lived with her. I had my own drawer in her dresser and my own toothbrush for her house. If it shows you how much I was with her, I had to replace that toothbrush before I had to buy a new one for my own home. :D

Jordyne: Jordyne and I were best friends from freshman year to sophomore year. I grew to love all of the members of her family, even buddy. HA. Sick. I hated her dumb dog. JK. When Jordyne moved, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to deal. Although we've grown apart, I love her more than she can know.

Marie: Marie and I weren't best friends for very long, but when we were, we were together everyday, all day, no exaggeration. We played tennis in the rain, ate at subway waaaaay too much, and laughed a whole lot. :D

Autumn... Michael?: Junior year, he spent all of his time with Kristina and me. Every time I eat cheese dip or drink kool aid I think of him. :D The kool aid was bad, but it came after a really funny night. Cheese dip was our thing. We went to El Mezcal all the time. When we were together, it was just fun. That's what I needed. :D We also had Ben and Jerry's nights. And his birthday party=wayyyy fun.

So anyway, I did some great stuff, I met some great people, and I learned a few lessons:

Don't Shoplift: I know this is something that you learn when you're a small youngin... but I think that shoplifting has affected me in the most adverse way possible. I lost all privileges to my best friend, although we find our ways around it, and I wasted my whole year on someone who didn't care as much as I thought he did. If I wouldn't have been shoplifting, I would never have had to stop hanging out with Kristina, and Jon wouldn't have been such a major proponent in my life.

Cherish your loved ones: This year, my sister was removed from my home. I love her dearly. I miss her so much it hurts. Also, there were a few other devastating losses that I endured with friends. Although I didn't know either of the boys that took their own lives, I watched how sad it made people. I don't really know what to say a lot of the time, except for I love you.

Don't give away free stuff at your job: Then, you won't have a job.

If you know you can't deal, don't try: Sometimes, in the situations that require you to choose fight or flight, Flight can be better. Our society teaches us to fight, but it can really screw you up majorly.

Be friggin nice: You'll regret it later if you don't. If you don't have someone to hang out with because you were a bi*ch to everyone, you'll be sad. It could really make you super depressed. :D I'm learning, I know it's late in the game, but I'm learning.

Don't judge: Even though it may seem like you're right at the time, eventually, your feelings might change about a certain situation, and you'll feel like a giant doucher when you're doing the things you used to chastise others for. It's okay to feel a certain way, but don't hate people because they don't feel the same.

I guess this is a farewell blog.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't the last blog I'll ever write, but this is probably the last blog I'll ever write as a senior in high school.
This is a blog farewell to high school.

[[?]]

oxoxo kayla

Poetry

Here's my text collage. I'm pretty happy with it. I think it's pretty. I know it's kind of sad. But that's the word I chose. Sad. I think my favorite word on here is 'bereaved'. It's written in pretty font. And it's italicized. And it's black so it stands out. I'm happy with my text collage poem. I think it was a good plan. :D